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BUM IN THE MUD RALLY 22-24 APRIL 2005. Forward and odd bits by Piglet. General words and pics by Clouseau. For the past nineteen years the rally held at this time of year on Mersea Island, Essex has always been known as the Arse in the Grass. This year however the organising club decided to pull out at fairly short notice. This was when 3 local bikers, Piglet her other half Nick and their mate Mark decided to step in and save the rally. I was looking forward to this rally for a couple of reasons. I had arranged to meet with some close friends that I hadn?t seen since the Icy Knee last November and also it was totally unexpected that I went at all. I had planned the Celtic Warriors, the weekend before, well in advance and didn?t think I would be able to play two weekends on the trot. However, I was on-call on Thursday night so had Friday off, result! This rally is fairly close for me so I managed to get the bike packed and get a couple of hours kip on Friday before setting off. The weather forecast was not too good, even though Friday was sunny, so I decided to wear the waterproofs, instead of trying to cram onto the bike somewhere. Wrong decision! The ride to Mersea was a blinder and it just got sunnier. By the time I reached the site I was baking. The site is also one of the best I have been to at East Mersea Youth Camp. As it is next to the sea the wind was biting so I managed to find a bit of shelter and pitched up. Wandering about I was amazed to find a toilet block with showers, a canteen and the hall where the bands would play, plus loads of chalets and other stuff. I soon found my friends and the weekend well and truly started. I trolled up to the Mersea brewery/vineyard and came back with a 5litre container of their finest ale. It was only a few minutes walk up the road and well worth it. The late afternoon and early evening period was spent catching up and getting some food inside, ready for the onslaught that somehow I knew would be coming later. It was good to see so many people I knew, even though we are all local I was pleased to see so many different clubs just chilling together, great atmosphere for later. The disco had been making noises for a while, so we all headed in that direction just before the first band of the evening, Mighty Resonators, got under way at about 8ish. These guys played some cracking R+B numbers and you should have seen the dance floor heave. The other band, Loaded, played anything from Sex Pistols to Green Day and everyone just carried on dancing to them. I couldn?t help thinking that the atmosphere and the energy that everyone had was more like a Saturday Night, it was that good. The hall got hotter as the night went on, which meant that the drink flowed, obviously! When Loaded had done their stuff the disco kept us all going for a few more hours. Saturday saw another sunny day, even though the wind was still cold. It also saw the usual consequences of the night before. I am never ever going to drink that much again, ever ?..well possibly once more, but that will be the last and final time, oh yes it will. The canteen was open early-ish for breakfast and the day had started. Several more people arrived throughout the late morning and I bumped into a few more old mates. This was proving to be a very good rally, even though the numbers were slightly down on previous years, about 650 partygoers still managed to show up. The afternoon saw silly games followed by the bike show. The pics show just how good the entries were. However, the Harley?s did have a marquee all to themselves, except one mean black one who refused to go inside! The winners were, Best custom-Black gsx,Best Streetfighter-Bandit Buell, Best Trike-Suzuki bike trike, Best Classic -Red Ariel, Best engineering-V Max, Best Paint-Triumph 650, Best Rat- Nik's Future Bike, Best in show-GSXR Chop, and Best Harley which was sponsored by Andy Harris Of Harley Tech (Maldon Essex) went to a Blue S&S Chop,(sorry but lost the bit of paper with the reg no's on) The marquee housed the first two bands to entertain us on Saturday, starting with Inscape who I missed (sorry) and then Brian Said who did their own stuff, I think and were not bad for starters. The other two bands, Livewire and No Shame played in the hall, which had a layer of wood shavings/sawdust over the floor. Good idea as it made the dancing easier, and probably the cleaning up easier as well! Luckily the raffle was drawn without the usual tediousness and all tickets were posted at check-in. Again the choice of bands was excellent with Livewire kicking ass with some great covers and No Shame just putting the icing on the cake with some truly masterful versions of great classics. The dance floor never stopped all night and everyone had a great time. The atmosphere from Friday night just rolled on into Saturday. There are loads of clubs in the Essex/Suffolk/ Norfolk area who know how to party and it certainly showed this weekend. Thanks to Piglet and all, who organised this superb rally. It will be on again next year 21st-23rd April. So book early! Thanks from Clouseau, Kautari MCC A big thanks from Piglet, Nick and Mark to: Andy at Harley Tech, Peter at PM Motorcycles, Ian the Pa Bloke and every one else for their support for making the Rally work.


I could make out some sort of an outline and an enormous object spun into view, loomong up large and uncanny out of the sky. It resembled the upper half of a large spinning top and was about the size of a gasometer. There appeared to be a dome on top, the inside of which was flashing a strange blue light.' This is part of an actual report involving an alleged UFO sighting at Langenhoe mear Mersea Island back in 1965 Mersea is Englands eastern most inhabited island and is situated about seven miles from Colchester in Essex. It is also home to the Bum in the Mud rally in April each year. This year the event attracted over 800 people and a bloody good time was had by all. The rally site is one of the best i've seen being right next to the beach( for 'beach' read 'mud' but hell, it's still the seaside,alright?) and wander round the site revealed about twelve or so stalls and Leigh the Tattooist, plus four food stalls. As Friday afternoon drifted into evening it was time for the first band of the night, FUBAR, who went down very well. Next were female-fronted covers band, Time Out, who were also most excellent. The main band was colchester's best kept secret, R&B band The Mighty Resonators who kept the hall rocking untill 1.30 or so. Saturday dawned warm and sunny and, by mid-day the first band of the day, The Company, were playing in the marquee. A bit later the bike show was setting up in an adjoining marquee while Marie and Beth played an accoustic set. Considering the Celtic Warriors were holding their do the same weekend the standard of some of the bikes in the show was outstanding. Fifty quid went to the winner of each class,plus a handmade trophy, with a hundred nicker going to 'Best in Show' As bands continued to play throughout the afternoon, Skruff's famous silly games were in full swing. I managed to miss the tug of war and pillion bundle, But did catch the treatment of the rally virgins- they were made to sit on a chair wearing googles and a snorkel, and a good dollop of Andrew's liver salts was tipped down the snorkel, swiftly followed by a couple of cans of larger. I'm sure those poor buggers had froth and foam oozing from every orifice.Then to cap it off they were totally egged. I beat a hasty retreat to the marquee to find i'd missed the third band of the afternoon, Dead End, but did manage to catch the superb Red Alert. The evening's bands were back in the hall and kicked off with young ska band, The New Town Kings, followed by Blacktooth and then a Guns and Roses tribute, Lose Your Illusion. While the Ministry of Loud disco filled the gaps between the bands the Marquee was transformed into a dance/rave tent. Not usally my cup of tea, but it seemed popular with a lot of people. The main band of the weekend was the legendary punk band, The Vibrators. Celebrating their 30th year in the rock buisness this year, these guys can still really rock. So, all in all, a bloody good weekend- eleven bands,rock disco,rave tent,cash bike show and not a UFO in site...all for ?15, not bad eh? Sunday morning, i was heading back towards colchester leaving Mersea Island behind. Suddenly a huge shape loomed over head emitting a strange humming noise and emitting an eerie blue light...me and my big mouth.


The predecessor to Bum in the Mud Rally the Iceni Mcc's Arse in the Grass (can you see where they gor the name from?), was for many years a favourite of mine.It was,for me and a fair few of my mates, the first rally of the season and we all looked forward to the ride down along the old A604(as it was before the powers that be round this way had a road renumbering fit) to Colchester and then out along the B1025, through the amusingly-named Fingringhoe, to Mersea Island. Yep that's right, it's a real island.Okay, so the channel separates it from mainland Britain is a very narrow one and the road that crosses it only floods twice a day at high tide,but it is a real island.It's actually the most easterly inhabited island in the UK, located marginally off the coast of Essex some nine miles to the southeast of Colchester in the estuary area of the Blackwater and Colne rivers.The name 'Mersea' is derived from the Old English word 'meresis' meaning 'island of the pool' and it is joined to the mainland by a causeway, first constructed in Roman times, that crosses the waterway known as The Strood. It's also been home to some very famous people over the years too;The Reverand Sabine Baring-Gould, who wrote the hymn 'Onward, Christian Soldiers',was rector of East Mersea; Damon Albarn from Blur is from the island too;and legendarily- famous prog-rock band Yes actually played their very first gig in East Mersea Youth Camp which, by a startling co-incidence, is where the rally is held. That cunning link leads us nicely into this years event.2007 was the third running of the event and,with the demise of the Celtic Warriors' Birthday Bash traditionally held the same weekend, it was always going to big. Everywhere i went in the weeks leading up to the rally, people were discussing going but,even so, as i rolled through the gate Saturday morning, i was shocked to see how many folk'd actually turned up.The place was heaving,absolutely heaving. I mean it's abig site, I know,but in all the years i've been going there for the arse in the grass and the Condom, i've never seen it that full. The big event of the friday night, apparently, had been the idiot in the Vauxhall Vectra who, after consuming more alcohol than was strictly good for him, decided that leaving the rally at 4am pissed out of his face was a good idea.He firstly ran the gate and took the barriers down, then got a way up the lane back to the main road before deciding that what he was doing wasn't perhaps the good idea he first thought it was.As he was turning his car round up at the farm,he crashed into a post and then came back down the road, at this point he must have somehow got it into his head that his crappy Vectra was, in fact, the General Lee and, driving at about 80mph he tried to jump the duck pond in it.Sadly (or amusingly,depending on which way you look at it),he wasn't actually driving a highly tuned and specially lightned and strengthened 1969 Dodge Charger and so completely failed to clear the pond in a very spectacular fashion. Maybe he thought he was Sheriff Rosco P.Coltrne? He was forever ending up in ponds after failing to complete the same jumps as the Duke boys,wasn't he? Anyway, after the gate crew who went in to get him out had recovered him(suffering only from a very sore head after hitting the windscreen),he then went with an escrt to have a sleep and breakfast in Colchester police station.The next morning the joke running around the site was Bum in the Mud 3 car in the pond 1 Class! anyway, before these events unfolded said pillock, and everyone else too of course, had been listening to the bands laid on by the Crew (well not actually laid on ,obviously, but you know what i mean)- Suspect Device (classic punk),Black Tooth(rock) and the New Town Kings(ska).The Ministry of Loud Djs ably supported them;filling in the gaps between the sets and then continuing long into the nite after the bands had finished. saturday dawned bright and clear and quite a lot warmer than you'd expect in April-God,I love global warming,don't you? By the time i'd made me way down there from the wilds of Norfuck, the silly games'd just about finished,but that was okay 'cos there was still a fair amount of stuff going on around and about.Freebird had played/were playing in the hall,but i didn't catch any of their set'cos i was outside taking pix of the 100% Biker -sponsored custom show.I did catch a bit of the Humdinger's rockabiily set but,as i personally find rockabilly music as attractive as genital herpes, the less said about that the better. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it,though;maybe it's just me? The bike show was well attended,unsurprisingly as the Muddy Bum Crew had put up £200 first prize to go with the best in show trophy. The Ministry of Louds van getting painted in the car park was just one such thing-it started as a plain white bus but, by the time the painters (sorry guys,didn't catch your names) had finished with it,it couldn't have been further from that.I don't know what the painters'd been smoking,but it was obviously some wicked shit...man I,unfortuatley, had to leave before the two bands i really wanted to see came on- Salt Dog who are one of the best folk punk bands out there and of course,the legendary Beermonsters who you'll have seen if you've been to a major rally at any point in the last couple of years and who need no introduction.They were ably supported by Red Alert and Time Out and,of course the Ministry of Loud and the Grim Reaper spinning the toon in the marquee. Bum in the Mud 1st Biggie of the Year (quote Nik 100% biker mag)





Venue Address


Bum In The Mud 15

26th - 28th April 2019
Essex outdoors- Mersea, Rewsalls Lane,
East Mersea,Colchester, Esex, CO5 8SX

Piglet on 07708419987

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